


open your heart up

by creveli



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, Smoking, Tags will be updated as the Story continues, bill is being a dick, but not really, he doesnt like pearsons stew
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-10-19 07:06:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17596700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creveli/pseuds/creveli
Summary: "What the Hell was the point of that, Williamson? I get he's an O'Driscoll, but your goin' way too far. Just leave him be."Bill rolled his eyes, taking a drag on his cigar, his stew bowl in his other hand. He looked upon Hosea with defiance and shrugged his shoulders."I ain't beatin' him up like a sick puppy, Hosea. I'm teachin' him how to be stronger."





	1. you'll get used to it

"Leave me alone," Kieran muttered, darting his eyes away as he backed up more and more, fear circulating his veins as Bill Williamson towered over him, who had sauntered over to pick on the smaller man for the sake of a fun time.

Bill let out a booming laugh, taking a drag on his cigar when his laughter turned into a sinister chuckle. "Leave me alone," he repeated in a mocking tone. Once again releasing a laugh from the bottom of his gullet, he dropped his cigar on the ground and stepped on it, putting it out.

"Go on," he commanded. "Pick if up, O'Driscoll." 

"I-I'm not an O'Dri-"

"Did ya not hear what I said?!" He sprung forward and grabbed a hold of his collar, staring daggers into Kieran's terrified, surprised eyes. "'AH SAID-" Spinning around, he threw Kieran on the ground in front of the lone cigar, the younger man letting out a pained grunt "-PICK IT UP, OR I'LL RIP YER BALLS OFF!"

Kieran, who was whimpering and shaking out of his shoes, fumbled on the ground as he reached for the dirty cigar, his trembling hands causing the object to occasionally slip out of his hands, to which he only became more scared.

Standing up and turning towards Bill, he shakily handed him the cigar, refusing to look at him. "H-Here," he muttered, holding it out to him. "Take your d-damn cigar."

Scoffing, Bill slowly edged towards him, feeling more and more satisfied with how much more tense Kieran was getting each time he was closer. As he was close enough that he was looking right down on him, their chests only inches apart and the smell of Bill's reeking, alcoholic breath intruded Kieran's nostrils. Bill was quiet for a few seconds before reaching into his pocket, revealing a single match. By then, Kieran had one eye opened slightly, cautiously looking up at the taller man, whose match was in between his thumb and pointer finger.

"Gimme yer shoe."

"What?! Why-"

"I said gimme it, boy!" Bill barked, his tone becoming more irritated with each word. Kieran obeyed, fearfully, and scrambled down to wrestle off his boot and give it to Bill.

"Good doggy," Bill said, snickering. Taking the boot in his free hand, he flicked the match across the sole of his boot, igniting a small flame on the match. With a grin, Bill began to reach forward with the match in between his two fingers, maliciousness etched across his face with a sharpness no man could ever replicate. Kieran, helpless Kieran, flinched slightly, believing Bill intended to burn his eyes or his mouth or his clothes or... well, something quite awful.

So, when the smell of slight smoke drifted in the air and Kieran felt nothing on his person ignite, he opened his eyes, feeling puzzled. He checked himself for any sort of burns until he noticed what was really burning: the cigar.

"I... I don't understand..." Kieran said, his tone hushed.

Taking a step back, Bill's notorious smile was gone and his eyes were a mix of control, yet slight... understanding. His eyebrows were raised and he looked like a leader, which was a rare sight for anyone in the gang, but especially Kieran. 

"Take that cigar n' smoke it. Don't stop smokin' it until it's all gone or yer lungs give out," he said, his tone low and gravely. 

"But why?"

Oh, now his eyes were fierce. His eyes were alive with Bill's normal, hot anger. He gritted his teeth, frustrated.

"Cuz I said so! It don't matter why!"

Kieran didn't acknowledge what he said, as he was teetering nervously on his heels back and forth, trying desperately to find something to look at that wasn't Bill. "But the cigar is dirty. I-I jus'- don't know what would happe-"

Finally fed up with Kieran's ambivalence, Bill jerked forward and grabbed Kieran's neck, causing Kieran to let out a cry as Bill pulled the smaller man pulled the smaller man close to him so their eyes were level and their noses were almost touching.

"Swear to God, Kieran, if you keep bustin' my balls, I'm gonna bust yer balls so that they don't work anymore." Bill threw him forwards, causing Kieran to stumble. "Now, smoke the damn thing!" 

Nodding obediently, Kieran shakily brought the cigar to his mouth, inhaled, and then coughed. Tears stung his eyes and he coughed, clearly never having done this before. He looked up at Bill nervously, his eyes pleading him to let him go, but Bill wasn't budging. He crossed his arms and raised a brow, not budging. 

"You'll get used to it eventually," he said, lighting up another cigar and walking away. The last thing he heard was Kieran's repeated coughs as he continued to smoke.

As Bill headed towards the center of camp, Bill realized he had a witness to his fiasco: Hosea Matthews, staring him down with a disapproving look, contempt dancing in his eyes. Bill huffed, his eyes daring him to challenge as he got closer. Bill settled down on a long in front of the food pot, reaching forward to take a scoop of morning stew. 

Hosea broke the silence. "What the Hell was the point of that, Williamson? I get he's an O'Driscoll, but your goin' way too far. Just leave him be."

Bill rolled his eyes, taking a drag on his cigar, his stew bowl in his other hand. He looked upon Hosea with defiance and shrugged his shoulders.

"I ain't beatin' him up like a sick puppy, Hosea. I'm teachin' him how to be stronger. If he don't learn that sooner're later, he's gonna die out here. Look at 'im, Hosea. He's like a worm." The two glanced over at Kieran, who was still struggling slightly to smoke the cigar, a cough escaping his mouth each time the cigar was on the tip of his chapped lips. The struggle was painted across his face like a canvas, but as he continued to take in more inhales, the struggle decreased. Bill was right.

Bill held his wood brown eyes on Kieran as he continued, rare sympathy lacing his voice like silk. "Besides, can't have him be a... a burden on the group," he said, slightly hesitant. He was quiet for a few moments, clearly thinking to himself, which was also rare, as some would say. Hosea quirked a brow, surprised, but he stayed quiet. Was Bill... being nice?

Hosea's thoughts were interrupted when Bill stood up, grunting. "This stew tastes like horse shit," he growled, throwing the stew haphazardly aside before walking away.

Hosea frowned, looking back and forth at the two questioningly. He was no fool, unlike Bill. It was a rare sight to see Bill so quiet, especially considering how, despite his idiocy, he was a pretty decent actor. If he wanted to, he could cover it up easily and smoothly as butter. Seeing Bill so vulnerable in a moment gave Hosea a chill that slithered up his spine.

"Maybe I'm just bein' nosy. It's probably nothing," Hosea muttered, looking down at the stew pot as Kieran's slight coughs echoed throughout the camp and into the crisp, morning air.


	2. that warm feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bigger man chuckled slightly."..heh.. Ok, I guess it was kinda funny. Ya got me there," Bill admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. He darted his eyes away when Kieran smiled happily. It sparked a small feeling inside Bill, seeing that warm smile. It was like it was contagious, the warm smile giving him a warm feeling. Was smiling contagious? In this case, maybe... 
> 
> Bill only had one thought at that: Am I drunk and I just don't know it? 
> 
> Honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was.

"Sorry, can't right now, kid. 'Ahm too busy."

"Oh... Ok, Arthur," Kieran said, a little sad, looking down at the ground like a shy, little kid.

Looking over his shoulder, Bill cringed at how disappointed he looked. Kieran had been sauntering around camp for nearly 10 minutes, asking folks here and there if they wanted to fish with him. Ever since Dutch finally allowed him to be outside of camp to go fishing, he's been doing it non stop. Every day at the crack of dawn, Kieran was at the river, fishing pole in hand and a hum dancing from his lips. He would stay like that for hours until Abigail would call him for breakfast. ...Not that... Bill had been watching him. He had just stumbled across the kid one morning after waking up earlier than usual, which pissed him off and made him say many words even Micah would say was too much. Anyways, when Bill had seen Kieran, sitting happily with fishing pole in hand and crickets chirping alongside him, suddenly Bill wasn't so cranky anymore. Suddenly, Bill wanted to sit alongside him and talk with him and smile and-

Bill blinked, his eyes blank. Why was he thinking about it so much? It's not like he cares what the O'Driscoll boy does, despite what others may think. Bill is just trying to make him stronger, so he doesn't bring down the group. Yeah, that was it. He's just trying to show him the ropes. How to be a true Van Der Linde gang memb-

"...Micah? Would you like to go fishin' with me?"

Bill was torn from his thoughts by the sound of Kieran's meek, hesitant voice asking Micah Bell if he would go fishing. Oh, God. Kieran was desperate, wasn't he? Bill winced, wanting to look away, but his eyes refused to listen to him. This was an accident waiting to happen and he would be lying if he wasn't curious to see the outcome.

Micah scoffed, looking at Kieran like he was the biggest idiot in the whole world. "Why the Hell would I wanna go fishing with you, O'Driscoll?" He spoke the last word with such disgust and pure evil that it made Bill want to throw up his breakfast. He felt... nervous, and Micah slowly standing up and impending on Kieran only worsened the feeling. "I-I told you, I ain't an O'Driscoll no more!" Kieran cried. He was becoming rather defensive, clearly tired of people doubting him. He understood it, but it didn't mean he had to like it. Micah didn't care though, as in one swift movement, pulled a knife from his pocket and held it up to Kieran's neck. His other hand jerked towards his hair and gripped it, tightly between his dirty hands. Leaning forward, Micah flashed his teeth in a venomous smiling and said: "That ain't no way to talk to me, boy."

Eyes widening, Bill suddenly stood up, the sight of Kieran's terrified eyes and shaking body making an emotion he couldn't quite process circulate through him. Of course Micah had to be shithead about everything and everyone, especially to though's he didn't particularly like. While Bill and him were similar, he was never as cruel as Micah was. Watching Kieran helplessly try to pry himself away from Micah's iron grip was sad, but Bill should just ignore it, right? He's trying to teach Kieran how to not be such a weak little man and stand up for himself. If it meant that he had to be put in uncomfortable situations, then so be it. Thus, when Bill began to walk towards the two even though the little soldier in his head was commanding he turn around and march back to his tent, he didn't really understand what he was doing.

Maybe everyone was right about him; maybe he didn't have a brain.

"I'll go with you, Duffy," Bill blurted out, just as Micah was about to nick his neck with the tip of his hunting knife. Shocked, both Micah and Kieran looked at him with confused, dumbfounded looks.

"Oh, uh... you don't have to do that, mister.." Kieran didn't really feel like fishing anymore at that point, as having a knife being pointed at him really didn't put people in great moods. Plus, Kieran was still a bit nervous around him, thought Bill wasn't having any of it.

"'Ah already said I would, didn't I?! So, get yer hook and lets go!" Bill barked, slightly annoyed. Why did Kieran have to be so damn nervous all the time, like if he said the wrong thing the whole world might implode?

Micah sneered, throwing an exasperated Kieran towards Bill, who stepped back to avoid the stumbling Kieran. "Yeah, O'Driscoll, boy. Go get your hook and fuck off," he said, walking away with a cruel laugh. Once Kieran managed to stand up and position himself rightly, he turned towards Bill, eyes still wide as the ocean. Regardless, Kieran smiled slightly, biting back a grin stretching ear to ear. Godammit, Bill thought, a blush trickling up his neck towards his ears.

"Thank you, miste-"

"Whatever," Bill interrupted, walking away towards his tent. "Just get yer damn hook and meet me at the river."

"Uhm, ok..." Despite having his back towards Kieran as Bill marched off, Bill could feel Kieran's smile and hidden joy radiating off of him. A fluttery, weird feeling danced around in the bottom of his stomach, making him feel queasy. Not in the way that made you want to vomit up your guts until there was nothing left, though. Well, it was sorta like that. But it was also... kinda good? Swallowing down a lump in his throat, Bill tried to shove the feeling aside as he gathered up his bait and hook. This was going to be a weird fishing trip, especially since that Bill had long forgotten how to fish.

His feet halted at the realization, remembering that that's kind of important. He smacked his forehead and closed his eyes, grumbling swears under his breath.

God. Dammit.

\---------

Once Bill had managed to collect the fishing pole and bucket in his arms whilst swearing under his breath at the dust due to lack of use, he marched across camp. He expected to see Kieran at the nearside river, but was surprised to see that he wasn't there and instead was standing out by the horses, obviously waiting for him.

"What're you doin', boy? 'Thought you said we was fishin'."

"We are! Just not here."

Puzzled, Bill frowned, becoming wary. Was this O'Driscoll boy planning to jump him while they were out, alone? Sensing this, Kieran quickly held up his hands, as if he were taming a wild horse.

"It ain't what you think! I just... yesterday, I found a better spot. It's just a couple miles from here," he said, his voice sounding sincere and even a bit pleading.

Bill set down his stuff and crossed his arms. "Why're you gettin' so defensive then? Sounds pretty fishy," he said, expecting Kieran to shrivel up under Bill's iron glare. Instead, the last thing he thought he might do happened: Kieran began to snicker, his hand flying to his mouth to stifle a laugh. Eyes widening, Bill's face turned deep red.

"What the- The Hell're you laughin' at?!" He barked

"Forgive me for laughin', sir, but... you said fishy."

"And?" Bill said, realizing now he was the one getting defensive. Ironic.

"Well," Kieran said, voice dying down into a light chuckle, "we're about to go fishin'..."

Putting the pieces together, like it was the biggest mystery that even Sherlock Holmes himself couldn't solve, Bill blinked. Slowly, like water flowing down a stream, anger began to settle in.

"Are you laughin' at me?! How dare you! Oh, I oughta-"

"C'mon, mister! I ain't laughin' at you. I'm, uh... laughin' at you said. It was... rather funny," Kieran said, once again becoming nervous and uneasy.

Opening his mouth to yell that no, it wasn't funny, Bill stopped. Usually, he would tackle and fucker who dared laugh at him, but this time, it wasn't the case.

The bigger man chuckled slightly."..heh.. Ok, I guess it was kinda funny. Ya got me there," Bill admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. He darted his eyes away when Kieran smiled happily. It sparked a small feeling inside Bill, seeing that warm smile. It was like it was contagious, the warm smile giving him a warm feeling. Was smiling contagious? In this case, maybe...

Bill only had one thought at that: Am I drunk and I just don't know it?

Honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was. For once, he hoped to God he was because the feeling made him queasy and off. Though, there was nothing he could do now, as Kieran was stupidly excited now and he wasn't gonna be the one to shatter his little dreams about catching a huge bass or whatever.

The stupidly excited man with that warm smile broke him out of his thoughts. "Are ya coming, mister?" Kieran called out to him, who was getting his stuff together. Bill blinked, having been brought out of his thoughts that, according to Arthur and John, he rarely had.

Bill, not so gracefully, wrangled his things together and started after him, the warm feeling springing back up again. It made him irritated. Kieran was irritating. Everything was irritating.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming! God Damn..."

Ignoring his sourness, Kieran stood alongside him and began to trot forward. "Well, come on, then. Let's go catch some fish!"

Grumbling, Bill nodded, lowering his head to stare down at his shoes.

"Lead the way, 'ah guess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im having fun writing this omg... anyways you can follow my tumblr at @thatprettycowboy
> 
> im sorry if this chapter kinda sucks. i was having writers block for days and my writing is still a little rusty, but im doing my best! i love this ship fjldkfjs


	3. DISCLAIMER: ADDRESSING THE BIERAN CONTROVERSY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is just a quick disclaimer about the controversy surrounding their relationship. i feel like i had to address it and that it couldnt wait

So on Tumblr, I have bared witness to people criticizing Bill and Kieran getting together because it seems like it's shipping an abusive relationship due to Bill's treatment of Kieran at the beginning of the game. I wanted to address this so people know my stance on it 

At the beginning of the game, the pairing of the two would have been undoubtedly abusive. Bill was in a position of power and Kieran was afraid of him. Bill could have done anything he wanted to him, which is very, very wrong. As time grows on, though, Bill begins to harbor feelings for Kieran and it is seen in camp interactions. I will provide links:

https://www.reddit.com/r/reddeadredemption/comments/9yc7bv/the_game_heavily_implies_that_bill_is_spoilers/ 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWM9s5Shi3U 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWM9s5Shi3U - 0:50

My shipping of Kieran and Bill takes place around the time Kieran dies, as does this fic. Around the time of Kieran's death and this fic, there is no power imbalance and Kieran isn't afraid of Bill, but rather he just has anxiety towards all the gang members equally and knows what buttons not to press. Kieran is in a position where he can say no whenever he can as he pleases and he knows this in this story. I will be developing their relationship so it is healthy as any other pairing

In the end, I felt this needed to be addressed so it doesn't seem like I'm romanticizing an abusive relationship. I absolutely do not intend to do that, but I am open to any criticism of my story in that field. If anything I write seems that way, please let me know and I will do my best to fix it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is in the works. im sorry its taking so long but im lazy and busy. please be patient!


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